So what exactly are the Key Ingredients to be a Good Parent? Is there such a thing? Can it really be that easy? We came across this great post at AnxiousToddlers.com and really wanted to dig into the article to see what good parenting really means. We all want to be the best parent possible to our kids and with this research coming from Northwestern University, we knew it would be worthy of spending some time to learn the ingredients for this strategy.
With that being said, one thing we loved that the author said was, “People joke that parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual – but I seriously wish it did.” So do we! Parenting is HARD work! It can be overwhelming, to say the least and everyone seems to have a different parenting style that they swear by. The author of this article said that they were supportive of parents finding a style that feels right to them and works in their home. But these Four C’s of Parenting can be the backbone of any parenting style that you may use!
- Let your child have choices
Kids don’t have a lot of control over their lives and so many choices are made for them. Usually for good reason! We want to keep our children safe and they don’t have the developed senses, education and instincts to make the best choices for themselves all of the time. That’s what they need us for!
But, giving your child choices, when appropriate, can help your children develop their problem-solving skills. I love how AnxiousToddlers.com discusses how letting your children have choices can ultimately help them make better decisions down the road.
One example that AnxiousToddlers.com offered was wanting your child to turn off the TV and head over to the kitchen for dinner. But, as usual, they are ignoring you! By offering them the choice to turn the TV off and come to dinner or they could choose to ignore you and go to bed early, they have their fate in their own hands and will teach them how to make the best decisions in their life.
2. Consequence Behavior – Good or Bad
Many times when you hear the word “consequences”, you immediately think of it being negative. But it’s important to teach our children that consequences can be good or bad! If they make good choices, good things may happen, which are positive consequences. Who wouldn’t want to reap the rewards of making a good decision?
Cause and effect is such a huge thing to have your children learn. As AnxiousToddlers.com mentions, teaching kids the old adage “for every action, there is a reaction” is such a huge lesson for them to learn. Natural consequences will be linked to their behavior!
If your child just won’t go to bed, the consequences might be an early bedtime the next night. Or, if they’ve been listening extra good and following the rules of the house and making positive choices, they may get recognized for that behavior by getting an extra story before bedtime the next night. Kids will begin to connect the dots and understand why certain behaviors are positive or negative, based on the consequences that follow!
3. Consistency is Key!
Whatever you decide, AnxiousToddlers.com can’t stress enough how important CONSISTENCY is when parenting! They reiterate that no matter what you say and do, if you aren’t consistent about it, kids will notice! They will file that in their little memory banks and use it to their advantage at the first possible chance!
Kids naturally test the waters and see where the limits are on the behavior that they exhibit. If what you said yesterday isn’t being challenged today, they notice! Stick with what you say and make sure that consistency is followed through on whatever parenting style you use!
4. Parenting with Care and Respect
This can make all of the difference in how effective your parenting style is. You can give them all of the other items, but if you don’t show your child love and respect, cracks will show.
Kids learn from our actions. When we tease, shout, demean or belittle our children, we teach them to do the same. We all have bad days as parents and there are times we all wish we could go back in time and start the day over. Like AnxiousToddlers.com mentioned, it isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being intentional. Take things one day at a time and make sure to give your children all of the love and respect they deserve!
What a wonderful place to start when you’re trying to figure out the next steps on your parenting journey! Parents who are the most successful do tend to follow these four basic components for good parenting, and it’s easy to see why. What profound steps these are and although there are only 4 of them, they are all so important!
Click on the following link for more details and to view the original article and image credit: Child Therapist’s 4 Ingredients for Good Parenting