How many times have your kids said “No” after you’ve asked them to do something? Over and over and over again? Yup! I think it’s something every parent experiences at one point or another! These 5 Ways to Discourage Back Talk from Kids will help to nip your child’s behavior in the bud to keep the family running as smooth as it possibly can!
It’s no surprise that back talk is the #1 complaint that parents have, based on Positive Parenting Solutions‘ information! It can be such a challenge to get children to listen to us without having them roll their eyes, whining, or going so far as just simply ignoring a request. How frustrating is it and how hard can it be to now snap back? So hard!
That being said, Positive Parenting Solutions talks about how it is a perfectly normal behavior while children grow and try to determine their level of independence. They’re working out how much power they actually have within the family and when they start lashing out, it can be a typical “fight or flight” instinct kicking in. They’re testing limits and seeing what we’ll do, as parents, because of it!
But it doesn’t have to be a constant fight! These great tips will help kids find the positive personal power they are looking for and will foster independence, within limits. What a great way to help them grow up, while limiting the negative behavior when kids don’t get their way!
1. Allow Kids To Have Some Power
Positive Parenting Solutions talks about how it is great to find opportunities to let kids gain a bit of control of their own world. Depending on their age, maybe that means something as simple as picking out their clothes for the day! Or perhaps they can plan an activity for the family to enjoy together. When you attempt to let your kids have some positive power, they will be less likely to seek it in negative ways!
2. Don’t Participate
That may sound odd, but many parents don’t even realize that they are playing a role in the power struggle that is taking place in their family with the kids! Do you find your kids talking back when you are bossing them around? Would you be able to hold your tongue if you were being bossed around all day? Do your best to put a limit on the ordering and directing that goes on and see if you can find an alternative to get the cooperation you’re looking for!
3. Pay Attention
Kids are looking for not only their parents’ attention, but also their approval! That means they need your undivided attention when they are looking for the reinforcement they need. If you aren’t paying attention to them, they will find a different way to get your attention… one that you probably won’t like very much! Positive Parenting Solutions recommends that you spend 10 minutes twice a day tuning into each of your children’s worlds with no interruptions. Before you know it, you are both going to be looking forward to this time every day and your child will stop being uncooperative, as well!
4. Use Rules
Make sure there are clear rules for your household, but more important, make sure it’s very clear what the consequences are for your child, should they choose to test them! While you don’t need to be overly strict when laying down the law, you definitely need to stick to the limits that you’ve set in place!
5. Keep Your Cool
It can be so HARD to not lose it when your child is talking back and trying to get you to engage in negative behavior with them. But don’t do it! By doing something as easy as saying, “I feel hurt by the way you’re talking to me. When I hear that tone of voice, I’m going to walk away. We can talk again when you can speak respectfully to me,” you’ll notice a big change in the future how your child responds. But you have to follow through! Walk away and the next time it happens, walk away, as well. You’ll be sending the message that you aren’t going to participate in a power struggle and your child will know it does not good to fight with you if you don’t react. What wonderful advice from Positive Parenting Solutions!
And just like that, by following these 5 steps, you’ll more than likely be able to shut down a lot of the back talk that you experience with your child. How wonderful would that be?!
Click on the following link for more details and to view the original article and image credit: 5 Steps to Put the Breaks on Back Talk